In honor of Valentine's Day (otherwise known as Single's Awareness Day, for those of us who haven't been so blessed with the presence of a significant other), I decided to do a post about... romance.
I know. Gag.
It's everywhere these days, whether in the form of real-life couples or in countless young adult books. And most of those categorically named "Romance" books have almost no plot and covers of shirtless dudes and bare-legged ladies who have nothing better to do than prance around and display their hotness for all to see. (Double-gag.)
So, being the nice person I am, here's a post about the do's and don'ts of writing romance.
DISCLAIMER: I am by no means an expert on the subject of love, and have never been in a relationship. So that being said, you are completely welcome to *politely* disagree with my point of view. These are just some of the things that I feel could be done better in romance writing.
I understand that certain genres have more romance than others, so this post will mostly discuss writing side romance in stories that have higher stakes, like fantasy, action-adventure, historical fiction, etc. As someone who has a low tolerance for pointless romances where the two main characters ALWAYS hook up because there's literally nothing else to do, you can expect a fair amount of sarcasm ahead. You've been warned.
DO's:
1. DO have your characters be (at least) friends first. This is important if you want to have more than just a superficial relationship between them. Besides, it provides opportunities for some friendly, teasing banter, whereas two people crushing on each other might be offended by a sarcastic comment from the other. Friends are also more likely to stick up for each other, defend their buddy, and have a closer bond than two people who just met, like, three seconds ago.
2. DO have conflict between them. As much as this one may sound like a thing you'd want to avoid, it's not. Couples clash in real life; so why should book characters be any different? Just because they're dating doesn't mean they have to be super lovey-dovey and fake all the time. They are supposed to be
people; they're allowed to disagree and have arguments and get mad at each other. That's where the forgiveness and reconciliation comes in. (And I'm not gonna lie, I love emotional conflict in stories.)
3. DO have them go through hard stuff together. What better way to draw your characters closer than by making them suffer? Ehehehe...
Just kidding. You shouldn't purposely do bad things to your characters just for the sake of seeing them suffer or getting a reaction out of your readers. But, in doing so, your characters will find out what their relationship is really made of. If you're writing action/adventure along with the little romance, then obviously that should be the main plot, and the romance should be more of a side thing. Interweaving backstories with a high-stakes plot is also really cool, and makes for some interesting and unexpected twists.
4. DO have them be older than fifteen. I probably covered this in my last post about teenagers, but I'll say it again. Teenage romances are cute, but only when they're done the right way. When they're obsessing over their boyfriend/girlfriend and needing to spend every single moment together, then they just become annoying. I find it more worthwhile to have younger adult characters get into relationships, because they're more likely to stick it out and have more maturity, responsibility, self-control, etc. They're also more likely to stay together and not be so perturbed by hormones and emotions.
5. DO have both the guy and the girl have some character development over the course of the story. One of the most frustrating things to me is reading a book and realizing that the main character never changed emotionally or mentally. I mean, what is the point of the book? That's why you need to have a deeper conflict than just a silly love triangle or two teens going behind their parents' backs because they're convinced they're in love. There are plenty of other motives and problems to write about; don't be afraid to brainstorm or ask real-life couples what some of their struggles were.
DON'TS:
1. DON'T make the guy and girl instantly fall in love when they first meet. I'm looking at you, Disney. As much as we all love a good Disney movie, I'm sure you've noticed how popular this is becoming in their franchise. *clears throat* Ahem, Hans and Anna, Jasmine and Aladdin, Cinderella and Prince Charming, and literally every other Disney couple. I mean, it's Disney, so you're completely welcome to slap me across the face and say:
I have a hard time reading books where the guy and girl are instantly attracted to one another just because they happen to be uncommonly pretty or handsome. No. This is NOT a relationship founded on anything solid, it's just about outer appearances.
Now, that's not to say that your character can't think the other is nice to look at. There is nothing wrong with that, just don't base the entire relationship on how hot of a body the other person has.
2. DON'T make everything about their love-life perfect and unattainable. I know that I personally get annoyed when you get on Instagram and see that one picture-perfect couple that just needs to announce to the world how wonderful their significant other is. Every. Single. Time. After awhile, it just gets old. Give me a break, we get that you guys love each other, like, a lot. Just kiss!
A good substitute would be mentioning the little things they do for each other; leaving notes for the other to find, doing the other person's least favorite chore, helping them with cooking, or bringing them food. Or letting them vent on each other after a particularly rough day. Remember, their relationship doesn't have to be bursting fireworks ALL the time for it to be romantic or sweet.
3. DON'T have the guy be a creeper. I've seen this trend more than I would like, and honestly, I don't even understand why it's done. You know, the books where the guy stalks the girl to get to know more about her and ends up being totally creepy in the process? Yeah, those. Don't do that. There's nothing admirable about being a stalker. And no, being a stalker doesn't include hermit fangirls who spend way too much time looking at pictures of Tom Hiddleston and Sebastian Stan on Pinterest.
4. DON'T have them kiss after only a couple weeks of knowing each other. Seriously? No. What's even worse is having them do it because they're bored. Purpose, people. There's more to life than shallow relationships.
5. DON'T have them be physically intimate just to put in shock factor or fill up the slow parts of the plot. This one... just doesn't work, especially if you're writing YA fiction. I personally don't like to read it. I think it just bogs things down, and shows that the teenage characters don't have enough patience and restraint to hold up.
And honestly, I really don't care about how they feel "drawn to each other." I wanna get on with the important part of the story! And teenagers doing the act DOES NOT make things any better. We are writers, and we should have higher standards for our writing than that. Besides, there's enough of that in the TV rom-com drama shows with hot vampire guys and brooding girls with dark pasts; we authors don't need to be exacerbating the topic. *glares at the Twilight series and every other cliche vampire romance novel*
I know it depends heavily in what genre you're writing, but if you're writing YA novels with high-stakes plots and fast-paced action scenes, having your characters run off to have sex isn't going to do anything but slow the book down, and that's something you don't want to do. If they're married, then that may be a different story, but use in moderation. Physical intimacy between a married man and woman is a beautiful thing, but shouldn't be taken lightly. Write with caution.
Also, just a few little things to add...
It's okay if your couple doesn't always get along. They're bound to cross blades sometimes, and besides, they shouldn't be completely compatible anyway, because then there's no diversity and the book becomes boring.
And, it's perfectly alright if they don't kiss. I honestly think this should be more of a trend. I hope that by now, everyone should have seen Rogue One, because this may be a bit of a spoiler. I really liked that they didn't force Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor together. While they certainly could have, they made it more important for them to trust each other first and accomplish their mission. And they never even kissed once, only hugged a few times. *commence ugly crying again*
After watching it, I was shipping them harder than Peggy Carter and Steve Rogers, and that's saying something. It was definitely a nice change from all the movies I've seen recently.
Another great example would be Flynn Ryder and Rapunzel from Tangled. They definitely didn't get along at first, and they were the perfect example of polar opposites, but gradually came together through some harrowing experiences and found that they loved each other.
Aravis and Cor from the Chronicles of Narnia, the Horse and His Boy, was also a good one. While they didn't have a whole lot of development (because C.S. Lewis was too busy ramping up the stakes to bother with teenage drama), it was mentioned that even though they argued and disagreed and got on each other's nerves, they still married when they grew up (key words: "when they grew up") and made a very admirable King and Queen of Archenland.
Overall, romance can be a touchy thing in writing, but as long as you have a good overview of what's appropriate and what's not, and get advice from other writers and friends, you should be good to go.
Or, you could just stay away from romance all together. That's good too.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to binge watch the Flash and Lord of the Rings by myself while eating Cheetos and cupcakes and writing my book. Happy Single's Day, everyone!
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